ABCDEFGH...IJK!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" 
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Wife: "How would you describe me?" 

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 

Wife: "What does that mean?" 

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"