English-O-English!

  In a Swiss mountain inn:
         Special today -- no ice cream.
 
  In a Bangkok temple:
         It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
         as a man.
 
  In a Tokyo bar:
         Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
 
  In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
         We take your bags and send them in all directions.
 
  On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
         If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to
         it.
 
  In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
         Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
 
  In a Budapest zoo:
         Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable
         food, give it to the guard on duty.
 
  In the office of a Roman doctor:
         Specialist in women and other diseases.
 
  In an Acapulco hotel:
         The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
 
  In a Tokyo shop:
         Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
         best in the long run.
 
   From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
      conditioner:
         Cooles and Heates:  If you want just condition of warm in your
         room, please control yourself.
 
   From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
         When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
         Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles 
         your passage then tootle him with vigor.
 
  Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
         -   English well talking.
         -   Here speeching American.

Source: Internet