Military jokes!

As I headed into a liquor store, a colonel came out carrying two big bags.  I snapped to attention and
saluted.  The colonel responded in kind.  The result: the soul-crunching sound of both bags crashing to the pavement.  As liquor seeped into the gutter, he chocked out, "Don't ever salute me again!"


During the bicentenary celebrations of my Army unit, I did a parachute jump with other veterans, and afterwards phoned my son to say it had gone well.  After a while, I got a call from my six-year-old grand-daughter.  "Dada, did you jump from a plane?" she asked.
"Yes, my love, I did," I said.
There was a short pause and then she said, "But Dada, why didn't you wait for it to land?"


Basic flying rules: 
Try to stay in the middle of the air. 
Do not go near the edges of it. 
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, sea, trees, and interstellar space. 
It is much more difficult to fly there.