Complaints galore!

Think it's easy being a house-owner.  Check out these complaints from tenants.

• The toilet is blocked. We cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.
• Fifty percent of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are just plain filthy.
• My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and now she's pregnant.
• I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
• I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.  I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
• It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.    

Cruises are supposed to soothe the savage tourists.  However, these are complaints from some fastidious tourists.

• A woman wanted to know why a particular British celebrity was not on her cruise despite the fact that she'd heard he'd been there on the cruise once before.
• A passenger lamented that nobody would install a window in her inside cabin so that she could enjoy the ocean view.
• A man on a summer cruise around Alaska whined that the weather wasn't as warm as he had expected, limiting his chances of getting "an impressive tan."
• A couple complained about the kindness of the ship's staff, explaining that they'd to spend "more money than planned" on tips due to the excellent service.