Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Wry jokes!

An inebriated man was stumbling down the street, swaying, with one foot on the pavement and the other in the gutter.  A policeman passing in his car pulled over and said, " I've got to take you in, mate.  You're obviously drunk."

The intoxicated man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"  The intoxicated man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure that I'm drunk?"

"Yes, my friend, I'm very sure," said the cop.  "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wastrel replied, "Thank goodness.  I thought I was crippled!"

A couple is getting ready for bed after a long day's work.

"I look in the mirror and I see an old man", the husband says to his wife.  "My face is wrinkling and I'm sagging all over.  And look at the size of my gut."

The wife is silent.

"Hey", he says turning to her.  "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

"Well, honey," she says, "your eye sight is still great!"

I ate a gluten.-free, lactose-free, low-carb pizza for dinner tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Bwahahahahahahaha. I loved them all and especially the one about great eyesight.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺