Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Wonder that is Retirement!


Retirement can be a wonderful thing. It sure is a huge change in one's life, moving from office to home, from keeping hours to keeping yourself busy and having fun. Indeed, retirement has many secrets, which is why it was important for me to ask some 'hard' questions about this phase of life.

Question: How many days in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing
without worrying about getting caught at it
Gene Perret 

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 50% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer:  Wearing a dress.

Question: Why do retirees count paises?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

'There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!'
Groucho Marx 

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: Idiot

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Lunch.

I have never liked working.
To me a job is an invasion of privacy
Danny McGorty 

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, nothing; Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work.
So I do it three or four times a day.
Gene Perret


  1. I love retirement and these are spot on. Yes, it's a wonderful thing retirement.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

  2. Truer words were never spoken! I love it too.