What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."

Your mom is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."