Thursday, May 11, 2017

"Pun"ny things!

• The person who invented the door knock .........won the No-bell prize.
• I couldn't work out how to fasten my seat belt. ......... Then it clicked.

• Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. ......... Dirty Fellows.

• I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. ......... All I did was take a day off.

• To the guy who invented Zero: ......... Thanks for nothing!

• Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, ......... then it just becomes a soap opera.

• Enough with the cripple jokes!  . ......... .I just can't stand them.

• Is google a woman?  Because it won't let you finish your sentence ......... without coming up with other suggestions.

• Want to hear a construction joke? ......... I'm working on it

• A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. ......... It marks the end of his sentence.

• I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I'm outstanding.

• I have a few theories about unemployed people. ......... But never mind; none of them work

• 2 antennas met on a roof and got married. ......... The wedding was ok, but the reception was incredible.

• Where do TVs go on vacation? ......... To remote islands!

• Sleeping comes so naturally to me, ......... I could do it with my eyes closed.

• A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said .........' No change yet'.

• There was an explosion at a pie factory; ......... 3.14 people died.

• There was once a cross-eyed teacher .........she just couldn't control her pupils.

• I am selling my guitar, ......... no strings attached!!

• I usually take steps .........to avoid elevators.....



Source:  Internet

1 comment:

  1. Oh these are great plays on words. Love them.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete