Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Old jokes!

When my lifelong-bachelor uncle turned 78, he travelled across the country to visit a dozen or so old

"How'd it go?" I asked when he returned.

"Thank God I never married any of them," he said.  "They are all widows."

Overheard:  A mother bragging about her daughter.  "She's very articulate.  She can draw anything."

Being partly deaf, my friend and I need to use a certain amount of body language for communication.  Her eight-year-old daughter sulked that she couldn't understand, so I told her to pay attention as she might pick up some signs.

"But if I do that," she insisted,"then I might forget how to hear."


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Flirting Research!

Humans are terrible at detecting flirting. That’s the conclusion drawn by researchers from the

University of Kansas. They paired up 52 college women and 52 college men, sat them in a room, and told them to talk for ten minutes. At the end of it, participants were individually asked if they believed that their partner was flirting. Men and women were very good at detecting when
someone wasn’t flirting, but terrible otherwise.  Men correctly detected flirtatious behaviour only
36% of the time. Women fared even worse, with only an abysmal 18% detecting a flirting partner.  According to Jeffrey Hall, the lead researcher, it’s probably because most people don’t expect flirtatious behaviour most of the time.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Little Johnny and the Government!

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way:  I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Johnny went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep.  Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there.

So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.  Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''