Thursday, April 16, 2015

Blonde and wallpaper rolls!

A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy. So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."

A blonde women started to work at a school as a teacher. It came to break time, and while she was on
duty she noticed a girl standing on her own and thought nothing of it.
Later in the day when lunch time came she noticed the same girl on her own again, while other children were enjoying a game of football.
She decided to go over to the girl and asked her if she was alright.
The girl replied "Yes" and the teacher said "Why are you always on your own here?" to which the girl replied "Because I'm the goalie!"

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Husband and newspaper!

Husband to his wife in the morning:
- Darling, yesterday evening in one hour I have repaired the roof of our house and the car.
- Really, I thought Viagra has a different effect.



Wife: 
- I wish I was a newspaper - so I would be in your hands all day long.
Husband: 
- I also wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one every day.

A wife asks her husband: 
- Did you have any girlfriends before you married me?
The husband sits silently.
His wife asks again: 
- What is this silence supposed to mean?
Husband answers: 
- Wait.. I’m counting...