Friday, May 27, 2016

Incremental Explanation!

I asked the boss if I could get a raise. 

He said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment."
I said, "I don't get it."

He said, "That's right."

Source: Internet

Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Minister and the Angel!

The new minister was touring the neighborhood, getting acquainted with his parishioners. 

At one house a feminine voice from inside asked, "Is that you, angel?"  
The minister hesitated for a moment and then replied, 
"No, but I happen to be from the same department."

A minister, was anxious to get home to his family after several days absence. 
He was traveling just over the speed limit when he was pulled up by a police officer who was unimpressed by the father's explanation. 
"A minister, eh? How would you like me to preach you a little sermon?" 
"Skip the sermon," the father replied with a sigh. "Just take up the collection."

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The boss and the maternity leave!

My boss doesn’t believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
Don’t stand around doing nothing. People will think you’re the boss.

The Law of Coffee: As soon as you get a cup of hot coffee, your boss will assign you a task that lasts just long enough for your coffee to go cold.

When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.

Source: Internet