Thursday, November 9, 2017

Life in a nutshell!

*What is LIFE*?
   
To understand life better, you have to go to 3 locations : 
1. Hospital
2. Prison
3. Cemetery

🏥 At the Hospital, you will understand that nothing is more beautiful than HEALTH.

🔐 In the Prison, you'll see that FREEDOM is the most precious thing.

💐 At the Cemetery, you will realize that life is worth nothing.                                                         The ground that we walk today will be our roof tomorrow.

Source: Internet




Sunday, November 5, 2017

Women or handguns!

TOP 10 REASONS 

10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.

8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.

7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.

6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.

5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.

4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.

3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.

1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.


Source: Internet


Friday, November 3, 2017

Blonde men jokes!

After Donald Trump, the world is wondering if it is the blonde men, not women, who are actually a bit dumber. They collected these true stories of blonde men 

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A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"

He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine."

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A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND."

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her First Child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

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A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.

"The rope should be around your neck," says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

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An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blonde man replies: "Dude, If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

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A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

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Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

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A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are intimate. The whole street was watching and laughing at YOU yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on ALL OF YOU because I wasn't even at home yesterday !"

Source: Internet