Saturday, June 17, 2017

Stranded men in deserted island!

Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
“No, not a soul, actually.”
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”

Two friends are talking, one says: “Man, I fell off a thirty-foot long ladder yesterday.” 
“Oh no, dude, are you alright?!” inquires the other one, shocked. 
“Yeah, I’m OK, I was only on the second rung then.”

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, “Don’t worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.” 
“Really? Why do you think so?” asks the despairing one. 
“I owe the IRS five years’ worth of taxes.”

Friday, June 16, 2017

Optimist and pessimist!

Around 50% of our youth sees the future in a positive way. The other half doesn’t have the money to buy the drugs.

An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit. 

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train. 

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.

My dog once ate all the Scrabble tiles. He kept leaving messages around the house for days.

Source: Internet

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Bugs bunny!

What do you call a woman who always knows for sure where her husband is? 

A widow.

My boss told me yesterday, “Ken, you shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”. 
But when I turned up at the office today in Ghost-busters clothes, the dog said I was fired.

What do you get if you crossbreed a cute Easter rabbit with an insect?
Bugs Bunny.

Source: Internet